Summary
Katherine and Spencer discussed the Enneagram and its subtypes, focusing on the instinctual stacking and its impact on behavior and relationships. They also explored the impact of trauma, neurodiversity, and attachment on personality types and relationships, emphasizing the importance of understanding and accommodating different needs. The team also discussed the importance of defense strategies, self-compassion, and self-understanding in navigating challenging situations and relationships.
Enneagram Subtypes and Instinctual Guidance
Katherine and Spencer discussed the Enneagram and its subtypes, with Katherine explaining the research behind the Enneagram and its evolution over 31 years. They also discussed the instinctual subtypes, with Spencer providing guidance on how to determine one's subtype. Judy, a participant, shared her struggles with determining her dominant instinct and expressing her strong self-preserving and social tendencies. Katherine clarified that if social is in the first or second position in the stacking, it can amplify 1-ish qualities.
Subtypes and Life Stages Interaction
Spencer discussed how different stages of life can highlight certain subtypes, using the example of a teenager who might test as a social subtype. He also shared his personal experience of initially mistaking his wife as a sexual subtype due to her intense focus on their new relationship. Spencer emphasized that while it may seem like the stacking order of subtypes changes, it's actually just a matter of where one's attention is focused. Judy and Katherine added their insights, discussing how identifications and experiences can influence one's subtype. They also touched on the impact of trauma, neurodiversity, and ADHD on the instincts and subtypes.
Understanding Instinctual Stacking in Relationships
Katherine discussed the importance of understanding one's instinctual stacking, which is the order and proportion of one's three instinctual drives. She explained that this stacking can influence how one approaches problems and relationships. Judy asked if the stacking would be the same for all three types, to which Katherine confirmed that the dominant type would be the tallest, but the second type might be close to others. Katherine also mentioned that the instincts are more dominant than the types, and that they trigger the whole defense system. She emphasized the importance of understanding one's instinctual stacking to make relationships easier to understand and to give grace.
Self-Preservation and Social Instincts Discussed
Katherine and Spencer discussed the instinctual types, focusing on self-preservation and social instincts. They highlighted how self-preservation types prioritize their own needs and resources, often hoarding or sharing them based on their fears and concerns. They also noted that self-preservation types may view their mate as a resource. Katherine emphasized the importance of understanding why people do what they do and what they sacrifice for. They also discussed the social instinct, which has a fear of not belonging and seeks safety and security through joining or avoiding groups. They concluded by mentioning the potential for social types to become adversarial or antisocial to maintain their social standing.
1960s Social Unrest and Psychology Changes
Katherine discussed the social unrest and changes in hierarchy during the 1960s, particularly at Berkeley, where students protested non-violently and professors agreed with their methods. She also mentioned the shift in psychology from focusing on nature to considering the impact of life experiences on personality. Katherine emphasized the importance of dressing appropriately for one's position and group, and explained the differences between the social, sexual, and sensual types in terms of their needs and sacrifices. She clarified that the social type forms groups, while the sexual type seeks intimacy and the sensual type seeks pleasure.
Enneagram Subtypes Influence Relationship Dynamics
Katherine and Spencer discussed the importance of understanding the underlying reasons for behaviors rather than just focusing on the actions themselves. They emphasized that the Enneagram subtypes can exhibit similar behaviors, but the motivations behind these actions can vary significantly. Katherine shared a personal example of how her husband's behavior changed when she was unwell, illustrating how the Enneagram subtypes can influence relationships. Spencer added that the "why" behind a behavior is crucial to understanding the individual's motivations. They concluded that the Enneagram subtypes can influence how people interact with their partners and how they prioritize their relationships.
Instincts and Human Behavior Discussed
Katherine discussed the importance of instincts in human behavior, emphasizing that they are present throughout life. She explained that the order of self-preservation, social, and sexual instincts is based on neuron health and can vary among individuals. Katherine also highlighted the distinction between the 4th instinct, which is about feeling special and needed, and the sexual instinct, which is about feeling connected to one's intimates. Spencer added that the sexual instinct is about feeling secure in close relationships, while the 4th instinct is about feeling special and needed. They also touched on the concept of stacking, which refers to the order, proportion, and identification of different types and subtypes in an individual's personality.
Trauma's Impact on Type and Behavior
Katherine and Spencer discussed the impact of trauma on an individual's type and behavior. They emphasized that trauma does not change a person's type, but rather affects how they internalize and respond to external stimuli. They also highlighted how trauma can lead to mental gymnastics and incorrect beliefs about one's needs, which can result in mistyping oneself. Spencer shared a study about fleas in a jar to illustrate how trauma can limit one's perception of possibilities. Katherine shared a personal experience of adapting to trauma and seeking connection from others. The discussion focused on the importance of understanding and addressing trauma to improve one's self-perception and behavior.
Neurodiversity's Impact on Personality Subtypes
Katherine and Spencer discussed the impact of neurodiversity on the stacking of subtypes and types. Spencer explained that neurodiverse diagnoses can magnify certain qualities and create inner conflicts. They also discussed how different neurodiverse diagnoses can affect individuals with different personality types. Katherine shared her observations about individuals on the autistic spectrum, noting that introverted individuals may be misclassified as 5s due to their hesitance and reluctance, while extroverted individuals may struggle with social dynamics. They also touched on the importance of understanding and navigating these differences.
Enneagram Types and Instinctual Subtypes in Relationships
Katherine and Spencer discuss how different Enneagram types and instinctual subtypes interact in relationships, particularly when partners have opposite instinctual stackings. They explain that this can lead to misunderstandings and difficulties, as each partner prioritizes different needs. Spencer suggests developing a shared "language" to bridge these differences, while Katherine emphasizes the importance of valuing a partner's needs even when they differ from one's own. Both stress that accommodating a partner's instinctual needs demonstrates care for the relationship, but this should be mutual and balanced.
Attachment and Myers-Briggs in Relationships
Katherine and Spencer discussed the importance of attachment in relationships, emphasizing that attachment is relationship-specific and can vary across different relationships. They highlighted the role of Myers-Briggs types in influencing attachment, with some types being more inclined towards secure attachment while others may have a distant attachment due to their Myers-Briggs type. They also touched on the impact of early life experiences on attachment, with Katherine sharing her personal experience of having a secure attachment due to her mother's nurturing nature. Ann asked about the dominance of instinct in relationships, to which Katherine confirmed that instinct is more dominant than type in defining what we need in a relationship.
Tritype® Study and Relationship Building
Katherine discussed her study involving over 1,200 participants, where they were asked to cross off what wasn't true and check what was true based on their type. She found that people often wrote in their instinct that wasn't represented, proving the significance of Tritype®. Ann and Spencer agreed on the usefulness of this tool for understanding relationships and personal traits. Julie shared her experience as an INTP 5 and her husband's unusual ISTJ type, and Katherine suggested that his 8 type might be the reason he uses humor to help Julie during panic attacks. Katherine also explained the different ways people tease and how it can be used to build relationships.
Understanding Types and Their Impacts
Katherine discussed the identification of types and their potential negative impacts. She explained how individuals may be perceived as negative or critical due to their natural tendencies to notice and correct issues. She also touched on how people may suppress their true type to avoid negative feedback or societal expectations. Judy expressed her confusion about fitting the 4 type, as she didn't experience the negative feelings associated with it. Katherine suggested reversing Judy's 4 and 7 in the stacking order. Spencer further explained the concept of stacking and its importance in understanding individual behaviors. He also discussed the importance of establishing safety and balance in relationships through teasing and poking.
Exploring Personality Types and Experiences
The group discussed various topics related to personality types and experiences. Katherine explained how understanding both the Enneagram and Myers-Briggs systems can provide valuable insights into personality nuances. Sara, who identifies as a 648 Enneagram Tritype® and an INTP in Myers-Briggs, shares her experiences of feeling like she had to suppress parts of herself growing up. Spencer offered advice for 648 Tritype® on considering alternative interpretations of situations to avoid anxiety. The conversation concluded with a brief discussion of how different personality types process information and express themselves physically.
Defense Strategies and Adaptation
Katherine, Spencer, and Sara discussed the importance of understanding and utilizing different defense strategies in various situations. They emphasized the need to adapt and prepare for different scenarios rather than relying solely on one approach. They also highlighted the significance of self-compassion and self-understanding in navigating challenging situations. The team agreed to further explore the topic of type combinations and defense strategies in future discussions.
Look inside the book Enneagram Instinctual Subtypes 2.0 on Amazon