Question: ENTP Female 8: How do I Stop Attracting Type 2s that Give the Silent Treatment?

Katherine: 8s and 2s often pair up. They both like to have power but go about securing it in complementary ways. Conflicts can arise when either type is upset with the other. But the question is, “Why the silent treatment from the 2s?”

FYI: anyone could potentially use the silent treatment as a defense strategy.

I would suggest that you might be happiest with someone that is healthy, flexible, and does not over personalize what you say or that uses the silent treatment.

Do you have the 368 Tritype®? Many female 8s, and cp6s that are ENTPs, also have the 863 Tritype®. Sensitivity is not their greatest strength, but it does not mean that the 863 does not care. They care a great deal, but they are hardwired to instantly go into action before they have had a chance to even think about it.

The cp6 with the 683 Tritype® does not want to be "in trouble" with anyone and has a fundamental fear of being "blamed for something they did not do.” So, they can find that apologizing for something they never intended makes them feel uncomfortable.

For what it is worth, in my studies, the head types (5, 6, 7), and, in particular, the 6s and cp6s, are the types that worry about the silent treatment from a heart type. They just don't like not knowing what to expect and/or how to get out of trouble with the person that is being silent.

Also, the discomfort you mention about the silent treatment is your reaction to the silent behavior. Head types are most inclined to focus on the behaviors of people in every situation and alter their responses based on what is happening in any given moment, or has happened, or might happen, tracking what could happen again...

For your own process, you may want to look at your discomfort and any estimations or projections you may have of your partner or friend.

Most people who use the silent treatment as a defense strategy are painfully sensitive and might not have learned how to "self soothe" as a child. People who worry about feeling uncomfortable when someone is giving the silent treatment may have had a parent, sibling, or friend who used that strategy and may not have been taught how to manage the pain that surfaces when cut off from someone.

How to get back in sync with a partner that uses the silent treatment? 😉

Often the partner that accidentally said or did something that caused the offended partner to respond with the silent treatment is truly caught off guard by being given the silent treatment, and their defense system also goes on red alert. So, for them to say they are sorry for saying or doing something that they did not mean to do or that came off as insensitive seems difficult for them because they usually meant no harm.

If this is true for you, all you need to say to your partner is:

"You mean the world to me, and I am so sorry that I said/did __________ and that it came off as insensitive. I care about your feelings, and I am sorry that I accidentally said something that was thoughtless and hurt your feelings." Or “When I said ___________, I never meant to hurt you. I am very sorry that I accidentally did."

Don’t know your Tritype®?

More on Tritype® here:
Katherine created a test that has been programmed to pick up particular patterns that the types use.
Take the Test here: https://enneagramtritypetest.com
General Information: www.katherinefauvre.com/tritype
YouTube: Katherine Fauvre | Creator of Tritype®